Sudden gunfire
Today was only the eight day in the revolutionary army; however, we had a major battle that changed me. In the morning, we had to hold till Captain Mendoza came with the rest of the force. As soon as the rest of the force came, we together attacked the loyalist and crossed the river to San Ildefonso. Though I was glad that we could make it across the river as it meant we had hope of winning the war, I panicked when I couldn't see Lolo and Nacio. I felt like I couldn't fight without Lolo next to me, but I managed to shoot the loyalists. Because I was shot on my shoulder during the battle, I didn't know what happened to us until Nacio told me that we lost. He also told me that he was going to be sent to US to be a doctor and that Lolo was hurt and was being treated. Juan was safe now as I saved him and Whistler ran away from the enemy while I bravely stood up against the loyalists. The most important news is that Captain Mendoza is sending me home to study and become a school teacher! I was excited though I felt uneasy as well.
During this whole eight day experience, I learned a lot of things. I learned how to shoot, about the revolutions, the cruelty of loyalists, how to care for people, the importance of food, losses and gains in the war, etc. Most importantly, I learned what it means to become a "soldier". Becoming a soldier doesn't mean becoming someone who just kills people in a war; it means becoming someone who cares about people, not killing, who can endure pain through a war no matter what happens, and who is always a soldier no matter where one is.
Picture source:
http://www.killpoverty.net/photos/Child%20Soldiers/drc_children_congolese_child_soldier-full.jpg
Today, the seventh day in the revolutionary army, we were finally going into a major battle to get San Ildefonso back from the loyalists. In the morning, as I loaded the rifles, ammunition, etc. onto the truck, I worried about me fighting in a real war. I haven't had much training and was not skilled in any of the army-related thing. As I marched to Rio Santiago with other thirty soldier, I thought of me, not able to help the revolutionaries. I couldn't shoot at the loyalists even though I hate them. I wasn't a good soldier like Lolo, who can shoot loyalists very well. Like Esteban said, I'm only a baby-sitter who couldn't do anything helpful. Discouraged, I am sure I'm going to die even before a loyalist can shoot me. Though I had to hate Captain Mendoza for sending me unprepared for a real war, I couldn't as it wasn't his fault that I'm not a good soldier. It's totally my fault.
When we arrived at Rio Santiago, we had to take turns watching out for the loyalists. It was absolutely dark, but Lolo and I managed to spot two or three loyalist boats during our turn to watch. This time was a difficult time for me; I actually fired a gun for real this time. The darkness had helped me shoot the loyalists, but I'm sure I missed them all. Lolo had probably shot them all. I couldn't see the loyalists as people because then, I couldn't fire my rifle. I had to think of them as black shapes. Still, I don't feel comfortable. I am absolutely sure that I won't be any help to the revolutionaries as I had mentioned before.
Picture source:
http://www.higherportal.net/t4c/2007/09/14/ChildSoldierThailand.jpg
It was only fifth day in the revolutionary army. Without much training, we, the revolutionaries, went out to save the city of San Ildefonso from the loyalists. When I heard that we had to go, I wondered why they would take me, who's not an example of a good soldier, but I was excited to ride a truck to the city. Unfortunately, soon, I was despondent when we had to walk through the forest. When we were taking a break during our walk, I was surprised to hear several gunfires nearby. When we crept to where the sound came from, we found a village with people killed by the loyalists. Astonished by what the loyalists had done, I grieved over the innocent people. With Captain Mendoza's commands, we dug graves for them and even sent our soldiers to kill the loyalists. Even though we had done what we could to the people, I never felt that it was enough for them. But then, I found a girl with a bullet wound and a newborn baby. I felt happy to see survivors but also sorrowful to see them hurt and without family. We took care of them and left them at the American mission, but I am still worried about them, especially the baby.
This incident changed me completely. I feel like I need to protect the people from the loyalists, who kill people for no actual reason and more like I belong to the revolutionary army than before. I've become more mature now. Though I couldn't kill the loyalist, I still hate the loyalists and will not let them take control of the people's lives. I am not the boy I had been in the village. Now, I am a revolutionary soldier, trying to protect the civilians.
Picture source:
http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/ap_Ethiopian_Soldiers_090113_mn.jpg
Today was my second day in the rebel army. Because of the raid that happened yesterday, five soldiers had died and more were wounded. When I woke up this morning, the soldiers were digging up a grave for them. Also, we had a funeral for those five soldiers today. During the funeral, I thought that the soldiers are for dying, not for helping the war. It was pointless of the soldiers to die when there won't be any satisfying outcome of their death. The war can never end; it can't be won by any side, loyalists or revolutionaries. The proof is that there had been forty-two wars in the past and this one is the forty-third war. What difference can another war make? My answer is none. Like Ignacio said today, even though the revolutionaries win the war, they would be just new loyalists. They wouldn't make any difference to the peasants like me, stirring up another rebellion and causing forty-fourth war. Ignacio seemed to be sure of this idea, and Lolo seemed to be persuaded into thinking this when Ignacio told us about it. Although, Captain Mendoza think that the revolutionaries can make the condition better once the revolutionaries win this war. He seemed to be believing that the revolutionary is necessary for the country and was determined to win the war. Also, Juan and Esteban seemed to be sure of this thought, too. No one knows who is right or who is wrong, however, I know that many innocent soldiers would die for this 43rd war.
Picture source:
http://homepages.wmich.edu/~acareywe/images/childsoldiers.jpg
Today was only my first day in the revolutionary army, yet, it felt like I had been here forever. I had a bad feeling about the arrival of the truck. However, I didn't bother to care about it as I just thought it would leave soon like other trucks that came to our village. If I knew I would have ended up like this, I probably would have run away as far as I could. Every minute, I keep on regretting that I had not woken up early, especially when I think of my poor family, suffering without me. During the journey to the fortress, I had been planning to escape from the truck with my friends, Lolo and Ignacio, but it never seemed easy with the soldiers with guns. When we arrived at the fortress, everything was so new and strange, but I didn't like it at all. I was controlled by the officers as soon as I arrived. Although they gave us better clothes to wear and provided enough food to full my empty stomach, I promised to myself that I will never be a real soldier, no matter what the army did.
I met a lot of people, more than I can remember. All of them weren't like anyone I have met before. First, I met Captain Mendoza, who actually made us revolutionary soldiers. Then, there were kids about the same age as me called Esteban and Juan at the fortress; they seemed to have been brainwashed into thinking that the revolutionary was the best choice they could make. There were more people like Whistler whom I couldn't understand at all.
I don't know when this 43rd war will end, but I hope I could escape from this mess and live peacefully with my family and friends.
Picture Source:
http://www.spur.asn.au/ChildSoldiers3.jpg
